Thursday, January 8, 2009

I'm procrastinating from working on my novel, so I thought I'd at least do something productive.
It's a new year. 2009! I can barely believe it. Ten years of Thomas and me being a couple. Almost ten years since we graduated high school.
One of our good friends from high school is getting married this weekend. We gave him a hard time about not coming to our wedding six and a half years ago, so we feel like we have to go to his wedding even though we haven't seen much of him in the years since he got a traveling job.
It will be an interesting trick--our attendance--because you see, kids are dis-invited.
The wedding chapel is a small venue, and we are supposed to "enjoy our 'night off' in their company." I wonder if--as another friend speculated--the dis-invitation was worded with our family in mind. I can understand not inviting kids you don't know to take up space (though I wish I could bring Emberlyn--a lap child dependant on me for food), but I would rather not have been invited at all so that a closer family could have brought their children to the celebration. To us, marriage is the creation of a new family, so it seems weird to us not to allow other families to come. Also, the implication that we should be excited about a "night off" bothered me. For sure, there are days I would love a night off, but someone else telling me it will be great to ditch my kids for a night just rubs me wrong, expecially because I know our friend thinks we have too many kids.
I'm afraid the dis-invitation is symptomatic of a larger problem: the failure to recognize the role of children in a Christian marriage. At a Catholic wedding, one of the vows is to lovingly accept children. We recognize that receiving children is a chance to grow in holiness and is the natural fruit of marraige. I wish I dared give them Kimberly Hahn's book, Life Giving Love: Embracing God's Beautiful Design for Marriage. I don't know why I don't. Maybe I think it is better to be in ignorance than to reject truth. Maybe I recognize that the truth is hard and I don't want to burden them with something I too struggle with.
Anyway, I'm dreading leaving my babies, especially Emberlyn. She and I will both be unhappy. :-(

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, my friend, I'm so sorry we feel so lousy. We would take your children and have a blast! Of course, that does not fix the core issue.

As for the book, perhaps wisdom just knows when someone isn't ready for the truth. However, the Holy Spirit can change his heart. Another heart in need of prayer to add to the list, eh?

Eric said...

You must provide the truth and let them decide. I agree with you on the no children bit. I find children know how to have more fun than adults. You usually find me with them at parties! lol